The aftermath of the senseless violence in Las Vegas leaves me with a sense of sadness, an empty feeling, a void into which I must pour something that makes sense. I found this sweet little article on Saudade-a Brazilian word that sums up my feelings that I can't seem to put to words or on paper just yet. May we all strive to connect with others and listen with our souls.
"Saudade-A Brazilian work for homesickness for a place that one knows cannot be. This word clarifies my own metaphysical search for someone, something, or some place that remains beyond the forever repeating next horizon. I have come to believe that unencumbered listening will often hear life stories defined by an unending wandering with satchels of discontent. This discontent, this suffering within suffering, may be a telling of the spiritual emptiness of saldage."
Moments of miscommunication between individuals are internal whispers to self warning of intellectual or emotional separation. Peter Fenner's, Radiant Mind Awakening Unconditioned Awareness, speaks to the sense of incompletions that may be created within our attempts to engage with others, to feel emotionally and mentally connected, when there is a sense that the person with whom we are talking has not taken in what we have said the way we intended or that we have unintentionally misspoke and created mental confusion or emotional injury.
When these moments of disengagement are brushed aside they often are rumination fodder that create distance, mistrust, and resentment. This separation sets the stage for a perspective of injury and may seek protection through relationship disengagement and personal isolation. Wishing to find the way back, yearning for emotional connection, trying to fix a broken relationship messages homesickness. Saldage.
In order to repair these disconnections or to feel complete, Fenner suggests that there is a need to engage in communication that may move us outside our comfort zone by becoming courageously skilled in intentional communication. That is, we listen by remaining present to the other, we acknowledge the importance of all who is communicating, we assume responsibility for rebuilding break downs.
Responsibility requires honesty with self and others. As a listener one can awaken the third ear and become aware of the quality of listening. Blocks or barriers to listening can be addressed through an openness of
What you are saying is important to me. I am experiencing some strong feelings that are not allowing me to hear you like I wish. Could we take a break and begin at the beginning when I feel more grounded?
I find that I am having trouble understanding you. Can you help me understand by saying this a bit differently?
For some reason my mind lost focus. I'm sorry. Please repeat what you were saying.
When a speaker senses a misunderstanding, reconnection may begin with
I sense that something I've said has unsettled you. Would you mind sharing with me how you are feeling or thinking about what I've just said?
I feel a distance between us. Do we need to take a break so that we can talk about this in a manner than is beneficial for both of us?
Being present to these minute whispers of homesickness may give us a path upon which to reconnect. To allow ego to build walls created by ruminations of negative feelings and thoughts may serve to fortify saldage.
May I feel loved. May my love flow unencumbered. May you feel love. May your love flow unencumbered. May all living beings feel loved. May the love of all beings flow unencumbered.
Brenda Kofford, 2011